Opening Doors: Celebrating Foster Care Awareness Month
Whenever people learn I was a foster parent for fifteen years, they inevitably have one of two responses. Either they say, “Oh, I could never do that,” or they sigh and long, “I’ve always wanted to do that, but it’s never been the right time.” I’m here to tell you it’s never the right time, and it can always be the perfect time.
For young professionals laying life’s path as they walk it, we have lots of choices to make. And none of them are easy. Balancing work, relationships, extended family, self, and citizenship is hard on the best days. So I get that adding a gargantuan responsibility to make space for children who cannot safely be in their homes is a tall order. But if it’s a calling in your soul – like it always was for me – I guarantee the return on your investment will pay off dividends. The metaphor isn’t literal, of course. Like all parenting, foster parenting will likely cost you some money (though the state does subsidize the cost of caring for children in foster care). But, like all parenting, the rewards are numerous (though sometimes sporadic), surprising, and inspiring.
A well-intentioned, but narrow-sighted, relative once asked me when I was barely twenty and talked about wanting to be a foster parent someday, “Why would you want to take on other peoples’ problems?” The attitude shocked me because it’s never the way I saw it. To me, what she thought of “other peoples’ problems” were children in need of someone to share a bit of safety and care, and help them heal from the kinds of problems very few of us will ever experience. What I didn’t intend was how helping children heal would not only heal my own spirit, but put all of my own challenges in perspective. When a newborn is withdrawing from drugs in your arms, it’s hard to focus on mundane toils.
Creating space in my life for foster care opened up my world in ways I couldn’t have expected. It led to my current profession, of course, but it also opened up a new social world with kind people who genuinely care about each other. It taught my children empathy and concern for the world around them. It taught us all how to say healthy goodbyes to people we love, and expanded the definition of family. It made everything else I did more meaningful, including my work.
If there is a stirring in you that wants to give back, that wants to be a part of this incredible work, there can be space in your life for it. The good news is you don’t have to make a forever commitment to a child in need to be part of the foster care community. There are other ways to support children, to support the families caring for them, to volunteer some hours rather than some years. These kids will mend your heart in ways you can’t imagine, and then launch you out into the world more rooted, more compassionate, and more ready to take on just about anything.
By: Marianna L. Litovich, PhD
